dreaming of pink

NOt as good as it sounds. I'm cleary anxious about Friday (now called D-day by the Library). We are getting our lay-off notices this day. Night after night I'm dreaming of recieving all these envelopes in the mail. When I open them, every paper is pink. Pink Slips, pink slips, pink slips! I just can't wait until I find out so that I can move ON with my life. For real!

I've already sent out one resume however, there will be A LOT of competition considering how many of my colleagues will be cut off from work.

I'm ready to move but of course I just bought a house. Now would honestly be a perfect time for a new environment.

This past weekend was fun though. We put up our little fake tree and I bought a cute potted live tree that we will plant after Christmas. We played holiday music and scrabble all day on Sunday.

My niece came over the night before. She is 7 and beautiful, feisty, and fun. We watched Nim's Island which she loved and I thought was cute. We made crafty magnets together and had pancakes and bacon for breakfast.

Poor Eric gets the boot out of bed though. Jocelyn gets too scared to sleep in the guest room alone, so she sleeps with me. She doesn't snore as much as he does. ha ha!

We had our "save the Library" rally today. It was well attended and our fabulous patrons made some noise for sure. I hope it helps but sadly I doubt it will.

Spiral Q Puppets showed and made some amazing puppets for the event. They also had these great little angel wings for all the kids.

As an employee of the city, I am prevented from participating. That feels very strange as I am quiet passionate about Libraries and would definitely be rallying for support if I didn't work here. Strange and tiring day.

One day next week is D-Day where we (staff) find out if we are canned or not. That concerns me. Not only for me but there is another staff member here on the chopping block. yuk!

happy news? Let's see, I'm sure there is some.

I meat some kick-ass meatloaf over the weekend. Meatloaf muffins to be exact. Thank-you Rachel Ray for the idea. I use my own recipe but the muffins cook up so much faster.

I’m still enjoying my online grocery shopping. Seriously to not have to deal with lines, other people, and hauling my shit around in a city that refuses to let you take grocery carts out to your car is wonderful.

I'd have to Phillycarshare.org a car for shopping anyway and it's actually cheaper to get the delivery plus it saves gas all around because others use this service. Makes sense to me and it's much nicer to wait for your groceries at home.

NO Turkey for T-day. My "in-laws" are Puerto Rican and adobo,seizon, and sofrito are their favorite spices. All delicious though not so great on Turkey (as I tested last year). This year it will be pork, rice and beans, and baked mac and cheese (my dish) with some apple crisp (me again) and some Dream Bars.

I will make a traditional Turkey meal for Ismael, myself and some friends later on in the season. I love my Turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes.

My new series addiction? The L word.

I miss our PS3 and Guitar Hero. That's how we made it through the winter last year. Yes it's dorky but it's SO MUCH FUN!

smooches!

thoughts

I remember when I used to have deep thoughts. Or at least I thought I did. Of course many of these "deep" thoughts occured while smoking or while spending time in the library avoiding homework assignments or while zoning out during classes that I probably should have been paying attention to.

I wonder...where did those thoughts go?

I swear I get so caught up in tasks that the deep thoughts rarely happen.

Don't get me wrong, I think a lot..or should I say rapidly. My brain seems to be used more to sort out the most efficient way to get from point a to point b. I can do things at an amazing speed and problem solve like a champ but I'm afraid that I really don't "think" all that much.

seriously though..it was probably the pot.

change in temp.

From 74 degrees on Saturday to flurries predicted by Thursday. Explain that. Oh yeah...global warming. Crazy!

One of the wonderful parts about my current job is the story programs. I a gal that's full of mischief so of course many of my favorite books are are filled with mischievous characters.

This is for you Heather and Theo:

My fav. picture books for the little little ones: (2ish)

unmotivated

so ha I'm running a library right now that is set to be closed and at least two of us (yes myself and one other) are probably going to be layed off. Or is that laid? Who cares? Yep that's how I feel. I have no work to do and can't quite figure out what I'm going to do next with my life. The Library is falling apart because nobody cares. I do care but I can't manage a staff who is over it.

Of course I"m still really sick so I'm super tired and ready to break into tears at any moment.

I have a group of 30 kids coming in in about 30 minutes so I will be forced to pull it together and read stories and sing songs. Of course I'll be hacking my brains out as well.

I can figure out how to pass my time for a bit while I'm out of work:

1. back to the gym
2. painting more of my house
3. Re-connecting with Project Basho
4. hopefully some travel
5. working on a children's book

But, I will be on a tight budget and I have no idea what I want to do with my future...now. I really liked being a librarian and I have a masters degree (the debt to prove it) in a very specialized field. But, I just bought a house in a city that will no longer have librarian jobs available!

yikes!

the stress has gotten to me

So after dodging many many colds and flues that have passed through the Library, I have finally managed to find myself sick and in bed. Yuk!

The update is this: Nutter (our mayor) has so kindly decided that in order to deal with the city's huge deficit (thank you Mayor Street and Bush), that the city needs to close down 11 library branches. Yep, awesome. NOt only that, but they also have to lay off 71 staff members. So of course my little gem of a Library is set to close...soon. He's shutting them down permanently. Never to be a Library again. Moving our computer equipemnt, books, etc.. to other open Libraries. This is wrong on so many levels. So now, I'm probably losing my job, all the hard work we have put in over the last year was completeley pointless and I"m not allowed to talk to the media who is pounding down our door. Love it!

So, now I'm sick. Honestly I think I just worried myself sick. I took a hard and fast bike ride on Sunday to clear my head and haven't felt right since. My head now feels like it's going to implode and the only sleep I can manage is after a heavy dose of Nyquil.

I don't know what I"m going to do. Seriously. There won't be many librarian jobs left in this city and I just bought a house. go figure. I can't turn around and sell it right now as the market blows and I wouldn't be able to get enough rent in this hood to make it worth it.

At least I'll have unemployment until I figure it out. I guess I'll get back to the gym and the darkroom and try to volunteer at Mural Arts or a afterschool program.

I should be careful with what I ask for. I did say that I wish I had more time to do other things besides work and commute. Well my friends, I will certainly have the time now!

woo hoo!

Yes, yes, yes!

It feels like there is hope again!

I couldn't even watch the election numbers last night. I was a nervous wreck and spent the rest of my night distracting myself with Swingers and crossing my fingers.