I'm wiped out with not much to say. The weekend was a flop with way too much angravation. I eased my mood with knitting, painting, sewing, and dog walking. Also got a fresh paint job on the toes with a cute little design on the big ones. ha ha

OH plus I made a double layer chocolate cake. The only reason one makes a double layer cake is so that one can load frosting in the middle. duh! My sugar rush kept me up too late but it was worth it. Ya think?

6:30 on a Wednesday night

oh what a day.

Decided to cut down my commute time by riding to the El on Girard today..but alas a city that couldn't be less bicycle friendly...there is no where to park it. Oh well off the the old trolley stop to double lock my bike (and wheels) to the platform in the middle.

Oh remember the days when you could leave your big wheel in the front yard? Oh right, I grew up in the sticks where yard meant grass and you could have one in the front...but you know what I mean.

Our New Mayor wants to get a bikeshare program going in Philly. Please...we have that program already. Believe me there is no lack of bicycle sharing in this city.

I'd ride all the way to work but it'd result in a sweaty mess and even worse an offensive odor. Not very customer friendly.

Work was the usual craze. This place is filled to the gills from the moment we open until the moment we close. I :heart: it. Afterschool is particularly nutzo (in a good way). The noise is insane. We've got every table filled with children and their families. Toddlers, babies, aunts, grandparents, uncles, sisters, cousins, you name it. At any given time you can hear spanish, korean, english, arabic, and cantonese. It's an amazing sound. sidenote : arabic is a beautiful language, not that I comprehend a word of it.

The ride tonight will energize me enough to do more work on the baby blanket for my soon-to-be neice-in-law so to speak. Its so pink and sweet and once finished will have a hood. Her first hoodie! yeah!

I've also got quite a pile of books sitting on my desk. 2 of them are professional reads. Who is this girl? I wonder.....

end of the workday

It's almost 8 oclock and the libray is closing. Now ahead of me lies a loooooooong commute home. You'd think I live and work in two different cities. But no, I work in South Philly and live in North Philly. Oh boy!

So here it goes, I grab the sub on Broad street, transfer to the El, and then wait for the bus under the Spring Garden Bridge. blah! How long does it take you ask? Well there are times I don't get home until 10 and THAT totally blowes. If I'm lucky I get home at 9:15. I commute 2-4 hours a day.

Now, do I buy a car? Buy a moped? or suck it up?

Once home, I kick off my shoes, grab a drink, smoke a cigarette, zone out to a little TV (tonight will be Weeds) and it's off to a good book followed by some zzzzzzzzzzzzz

The book at the moment is "Waiter Rant" by anonymous Waiter.

wonder why I feel so tired?

It's been a long time

Yes, I've been in hiding.

I'm a changed woman...and that change is a good thing.

2 years of therapy, going dry till I could figure out how to drink without getting trashed. Saving money, buying a house, having an actual profession that I love. That all involved a lot of discipline but it paid off in the end. I was self sabotaging but I've grown, I've changed, I've healed.

I am now a woman, a happy woman, who loves herself and loves being alive. I was on a downward spiral but I crawled out of it and am better than ever.

Through this process I let go and/or hid from many "friends ". I had to deal with some hard truths and in order to do this, Io locked myself in my house for about a year. I had the occasional coffee or dinner, went to the gym, went to therapy, wrote a ton, and spent time with my garden, my dog, my cat, and for the first time, myself.